Choose your own adventure: A summer day in Tallinn

You are awoken by a strange sensation: thin banners of sunlight stream through your bedroom window, warming your face. You think at first that nuclear Armageddon is at hand — you consider which of your family members you’ll eat first to stay alive. But then you realize that something far less probable has actually happened. Summer has reached Estonia.

Not wanting to let the perfect weather go to waste, you immediately get dressed and head outside. Mobs of tourists continuously pass by the front door of your Old Town apartment, speaking a wide variety of languages.

An overweight Finnish man wearing a leather jacket approaches you and asks, in Finnish, where the nearest bar is. It’s 9am.

What do you do?

• Point ambiguously down the street and keep moving.
• Offer to walk him to Hell Hunt.