Foreigners in Estonia speak out
Interest in foreigners living in Estonia piqued over the last few weeks, as information about the bureaucratic visa application process came to light and a Cameroonian student in Tartu quit his PhD program after being beaten on three separate occasions in one month.
Yet despite the bureaucratic gauntlet foreigners must navigate to get to Estonia and the threat they face of being beaten once a week until they leave, I hear plenty of English being spoken in the streets of Tallinn every day. There are obviously benefits to coming to Estonia as a foreigner given how many of them are here, and those benefits are often ignored by the media in favor of more sensationalistic examples of racism and xenophobia.
So I decided to take to the streets and ask real foreigners who live here what exactly about Estonia they love. I interviewed four random foreigners that I met on a stroll through Old Town one day; here are their thoughts.
What made you come to Estonia?
Giovanni from Italy
I moved to Estonia three years ago from Milan. I considered moving to California but chose Estonia instead. This way I get to live in two cities: Tallinn during the day and Hollywood at night! It’s great!
Rory from Australia
Tony from the United Kingdom
Estonia’s a great place to live. Back where I’m from, in Liverpool, everyone’s got a nickname. Mine was Plungerboy because I was a plumber. My mate John’s nickname was Toiletking; he was a plumber, too. Our other mate Adam was nicknamed Draino – he liked to use Draino when he plunged toilets. And my nextdoor neighbor’s nickname was Porcelain Pete. He was also a plumber. But here, the only nickname I go by is “välismaalt mees” – dunno what it means, but it sounds pretty slick.
Rick from the USA
Well, first of all, I’m from New York City. Ever heard of it? Ha! Of course you have. I came to Estonia because I smelled money here – I’m in the imports business. Now I’m importing all sorts of shoe-repair and foot-related stuff from the US and selling it at twice the price. Making a killing. New York City taught me how to hustle and make money. Money, money, money. I’m from New York City.
What was the visa process like for you? How long did it take?
Giovanni from Italy
I did not need a visa to come to Estonia. All I had to do to get to Estonia was walk downstairs, ask my mom for some money to buy a plane ticket, and then ask her to drive me to the airport! Next month, for my 40th birthday, she’ll send me more money, so I don’t even need to get a job!
Rory from Australia
Yeah, the old visa was a pain, which is why I skipped that bit. I figure no one is going to throw an Ozzie out, especially since I’ve got me a job cleaning the bathroom at the hostel I’ve been staying at for the past eight months. Why give the heave-ho to a productive member of society?
Tony from the United Kingdom
Visa? Let me tell you something about old Plungerboy: he’s got a British passport! Got that? B-R-I-T-I-S-H passport! That means I can travel anywhere I please, because everyone loves a British guy coming to visit! I’m tossing around pounds like they’re candy because everything is cheap to a Brit! You know how much I paid for these shoes? 22 quid! That’s like a year’s wage in Eastern Europe! Back in Liverpool, you know how much I was making? 12,000 pounds a year! That’s a king’s ransom! Once I figure out what the conversion rate is, I’m gonna throw a massive party with the 800 pounds I brought over here to live on for a year. You’re invited!
Rick from the United States
Back in New York City we have a saying. Anyway, I don’t have a visa. I’m an entrepreneur, remember? In imports? I’m from New York? Hello? I used to sell cell phones outside Central Park. That’s in New York; perhaps you’ve heard of it? Anyway, I was selling cell phones and got the idea to come here on a whim. Where am I supposed to get the time to apply for a visa? I’m too busy setting up meetings with suppliers. You know what I’m importing next month? Shoe polishing kits! You can take a picture with me right now if you want. Nope, too late. You waited too long; the offer is revoked.
Have you learned any Estonian? How easy do you find communicating with Estonians?
Giovanni from Italy
Communicating is so easy! I usually just move my hips like this, then put my hands here. Sometimes I’ll point to the bar and motion like I’m taking a sip of a drink to see if she wants one. Sometimes that’s not even needed – I’ll just bring her to the dance floor and there’s no need to communicate at all! The only problem I’ve found with communicating in Estonia is that the music is so loud sometimes. It makes it hard to introduce myself. But then, I am not such a big verbal communicator, if you know what I mean!
Rory from Australia
I haven’t really bothered to learn Estonian since most of the guests in the hostel are from other countries in Europe, and me boss is German. I left the hostel once about a week ago and everyone I talked to seemed to speak pretty good English, so no worries. Actually even most native English speakers don’t understand what I’m saying half the time so I guess I can’t be too fussy.
Tony from the United Kingdom
Learn Estonian? As if the Plungerboy needs to know any language other than the Queen’s English. I’m doing everyone here a favor by coming to Estonia and teaching them the proper way to speak English goodly. You people are lucky I don’t charge you for tutoring just for saying hello! The only times I’ve had trouble communicating are when I stayed in Nimeta bar a little too long and couldn’t string a sentence together.
Rick from the United States
I don’t have any problems communicating because I speak the universal language – money. There is no language barrier when you’re doing big deals and running your own import business. People adjust to me, they learn my language so they can buy my imported shoelaces and anti-fungal creams. I’m pretty much the biggest player on the Estonian gray-market foot care scene. You think I’m bending over backwards to learn some other peoples’ language? Get real.
Do you think that Estonia is a dangerous place for foreigners? Do you ever feel threatened here?
Giovanni from Italy
As a foreigner, I do sometimes worry for my safety – the threat of STDs is very real in Tallinn, especially in the nightclubs I go to, and there’s no way of knowing if the hordes of women who throw themselves at me night after night are disease-free. I also worry about tripping on the cobblestones while walking home drunk. In my opinion, Estonia is a very dangerous place and one must be vigilant to stay safe!
Rory from Australia
I don’t think Estonia is dangerous. But truth be told, I rarely leave the hostel, and when I do it’s just to pick up some instant-cook noodles at the 24-hour grocery store. I guess the biggest danger in my eyes is starving to death because I’m too lazy to make the trip to the grocery store. Or suffocating because I forgot to breathe.
Tony from the United Kingdom
Do you honestly think the Plungerboy has any fears? I’ve met some tough guys in bars in Tallinn, guys who didn’t like foreigners, and I took every single one of them down with a pint glass to the head. I’ve got a scar on my neck from when my brother bet me that I couldn’t juggle three live chainsaws after drinking all day. I proved him right. But the point is, nothing scares me, especially not the foreigner-haters.
Rick from the United States
Maybe I didn’t make myself clear – I am from New York City. I grew up fighting off pedophiles on my walk to school and knifing kids for cutting in front of me in the lunch line. When I’m not doing big toenail clipper importing deals, I’m in the boxing gym beating on a punching bag or in Shooters talking girls out of their pants. I don’t have time to be scared. And if I did, I’d somehow manage to sell that emotion and make money.
How do you feel about anti-foreigner sentiment in Estonia?
Giovanni from Italy
I don’t understand it! What’s not to like about foreigners like me: we come to your town and treat it like a theme park! Who doesn’t like theme parks! A few weeks ago some old lady made a rude remark to me in the town while I was trying to seduce her granddaughter, so I screamed “WHY DON’T YOU LIKE ME?” in English. She didn’t seem to understand, so I screamed it again and again, each time louder than the last to help her grasp what I was saying. Then I did the whole thing again in Italian. I go to such great lengths to fit in, and still I am disliked!
Rory from Perth, Australia
I guess the anti-foreigner sentiment is pretty bad. I don’t get much of it in the hostel though, since everyone is a foreigner. In fact, I don’t believe I know any Estonians who dislike foreigners. But then again, I don’t know any Estonian people. The people that come through the hostel seem nice.
Tony from the United Kingdom
When I was living in Liverpool, there was nothing that I hated more than some slimy immigrant walking through the town like he owned the place. Which is why I thought people here in Estonia would love me: I’m no immigrant, I’m English! But for whatever reason they’re starting to lash out against us. Makes no sense to me. I give something back each time I leave the house: teaching the general public manners, culture, English language, fashion, physical fitness, hair care, all by just allowing them to look at me. And what thanks do I get? Literally none! Bunch of ingrates in this country.
Rick from the United States
To be honest, if I was an Estonian, I wouldn’t want me here either. I’m killing it with foot-care imports and thinking about moving up to the big time: luggage imports. After that it’s rubber imports, and after that it’s pet care imports, and after that I’m president of the country. So sure, hate me – it only makes me hungrier for the only meal that can fill my stomach. Money.
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