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Pärnu Shore, Episode Two: All’s fair in love and shore

04
juuli
2011
  • posted in: columns, featured
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Pärnu Shore:

  • Meet the cast of Pärnu Shore
  • Pärnu Shore, Episode One: A rullnokk’s work is never done
  • Pärnu Shore, Episode Two: All’s fair in love and shore
  • Pärnu Shore, Episode Three: Between a rullnokk and a hard place
  • Pärnu Shore, Season Finale: We’ll always have the shore

Heleen and Priit wake up together in the mitte-magamise magamistuba. They agree to not tell the other roommates that they have hooked up. Priit asks if he can keep Heleen’s thong; Heleen agrees and the two go back to their respective rooms.

All of the roommates begin to wake up, and Martin shows everyone how to make a Võru omelet: he cracks two eggs on his forehead, drinks the insides out of a glass, and chases it with a slice of bread. Kevin, still angry at Martin, shows the roommates how to make a Tartu milkshake: he pours half a bag of kohupiim into a vodka bottle and finishes it in one pull.

Timo, the roommates’ boss, calls as the roommates are eating breakfast (and Kevin is vomiting violently in the bathroom). Their jobs at Rullnokk’s start today, and the first two people scheduled are Jaanika and Priit. As Jaanika and Priit prepare for work, the rest of the roommates decide to spend the day at the beach.

On the way to Rullnokk’s, Priit confesses to Jaanika that he and Heleen slept together the night before. Jaanika isn’t surprised. She tells Priit that she thinks Kevin is the most attractive rullnokk she’s ever seen but is afraid to share her feelings with him. Priit, claiming to be the most respected relationship expert among his group of friends, advises Jaanika to never reveal her feelings to Kevin and simply hope that the two hook up while drunk. Jaanika, amazed by Priit’s wisdom, thanks him profusely and promises to do just that.

Meanwhile, at the beach, Kevin and Martin get into a fierce argument over who between them is the most tan. Kevin claims that he has gone to the tanning salon five times per week since he was 12 years old; Martin insists that he’s tanner because he only wears a shirt when he has to go to court. Kevin asks Riina and Heleen to judge, and Martin and Kevin stand back-to-back without shirts on. Not wanting to upset anyone, Heleen claims that the two are equally tan. Riina votes for Martin, which infuriates Kevin. Out of anger, Kevin calls Riina pale – the worst insult in rullnokk culture. Riina runs away crying, but Martin and Kevin begin arguing over who can drink more beers and don’t notice.

Back at Rullnokk’s, Priit impresses Tarmo with his ability to stuff sauce into burgers. Jaanika however has received complaints from customers about her attitude and the fact that six of her fake nails have fallen off into people’s food. Tarmo brings Jaanika into his office and tells her that Rullnokk’s has a reputation as a family restaurant and that she needs to be much friendlier with customers. Jaanika agrees, but 15 minutes later her ex-boyfriend shows up at the restaurant and the two erupt into a screaming match. Tarmo has no other choice but to send Jaanika home for the day.

At the beach, Heleen manages to convince Riina that she’s not pale and the two leave the beach to go to a bar in town called Shüüters; Heleen heard about an event there on the radio and thinks a change of scenery will cheer Riina up. The girls try to ask Martin and Kevin to join, but they’re so engrossed in a beer-drinking arm-wrestling competition that they don’t notice.


On her walk home, Jaanika spots the ex-boyfriend she argued with at work and follows him into a bar with the intention of apologizing. When she gets inside, she notices that he’s sitting with a group of three men – all of whom she has dated in the past. Looking around, she notices that she has dated many of the men in the bar. She then spots a banner hanging behind the bar: “Third Annual Jaanika Sucks Festival”. Horrified, Jaanika turns to leave and sees Heleen and Riina entering the front door. She asks the two of them to help her slip out without being seen by anyone.

The three rush into the women’s bathroom and concoct a scheme: Heleen and Riina dress up like

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Jaanika so that no one can identify the true Jaanika. The three leave the bathroom, and Jaanika is immediately recognized by everyone in the room given that the three girls look absolutely nothing alike. Jaanika is forced to make a walk of shame through the bar to the exit while being booed and hissed at by nearly 100 of her ex-boyfriends.

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